It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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