A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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