I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
