Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
