If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
