dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize