I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
