I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
