And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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