I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
