i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
