Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i will never coherently bang her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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