Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
