I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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