I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
