I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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