I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
