saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize