I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
