You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
