I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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