I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
