The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize