We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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