How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize