make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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