my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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