i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
