do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's never too late to be topless.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
