my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize