I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
