google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
