The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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