i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
