try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Small penises have feelings too.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
