Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
