I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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