I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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