you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
