She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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