I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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