Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
