Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
