his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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