that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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