I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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