Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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