He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize