If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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