I wish I could teleport
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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