you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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