i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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