I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize