Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize