And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
