are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
