let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
