Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
