So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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