i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
