i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
