Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
