I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
