I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
