how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
