I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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